sLaVeGiRl01's Xanga

Pros and Cons of the this holiday

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 04:12:00 GMT

To those who truly know me, they know that I'm not a fan of the holidays. Call me a Grinch or sardonic, say I have no soul, whatever. I mean, it's not like I'll ruin your holiday- hell, I'll even wish you a happy one. But I don't like getting involved is what I'm trying to say.

For instance, I don't like the fact that people decorate their house like it's some massive light bulb they're using to signal the aliens. Mmm, pollution. I also don't like how everyone makes such a damn fuss about buying gifts and shit that it's hectic everywhere--- me no likey hectic. Gift giving is great and all, but it's not what Christmas is supposed to be about and the way everyone goes about it, it seems like that's what they think it is about. And who likes gift wrapping so damn much?! I also don't like how we have to cook a massive amount of food... not only does it make watching weight much harder but it also makes the house hectic--- me no likey hectic. Then you have the stupid jingles and holiday songs... seriously, those songs get so annoying after more than a day! So then I can't even jam to the radio because the only thing that'll be playing are stupid Chirstmas songs. Then when I think about it, it's unfair! And there's nothing I hate more than being unfair. How is it unfair? Well, we're in America where we have a large diversity of religion. The poor non-Christian/Catholics, nonreligious, and atheist people

So, now that I got all that stuff out of the way... it's time to list the pros and cons of this holiday! Because even if I do hate it, it's not like it'll ever leave me alone.

Pros (a.k.a. great gifts):

Underworld and Underworld Evolution DVDs (yay Kate Beckinsale!)
GLASS by Ellen Hopkins
$100 GUESS watch
Two of my older cousins comin' over, just arriving from the PI
$100 Aeropostale gift card
Nice clothes
Apple pie and empanadas (which I made from scratch) :D
Watching Casino and Pulp Fiction with the bros
Korean and Japanese Entertainment specials

Cons (a.k.a. shit I hate on the holidays)

My mom talking
Me not watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Valkyrie
My pops, baby girl (niece), and favorite bro getting a bad cold :(
Cooking and Cleaning
Taking a gazillion pictures just to open a few presents
Eating so damn much
Being tired all the time
Getting bitched at
I still have school shit to worry about and a long but not long enough break like this is what throws me off into deeper procrastination!!!

-SgMl
P.S. >>The World is Coming to an End<< Seriously, that ___?!
Underworld > Twilightx1000.
Any day.
'Tis fact.

Arranged to be Married

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 14:40:37 GMT

So I came home late last night and didn't go to bed until 4:something AM knowing that I had to get up at at least 9. My parents woke us all up (my sister, me, and my returning brother) but of course, I'm the only one that got up to do everything they needed. Which is why I'm still awake.

I thought it would be a normal morning, just doin' what I gotta do and listening to my parents talk about adult crap, which of course sometimes I would have to be involved in a conversation with them. But in the middle of the conversation, my mom suddenly exclaims, "OH! ___, did I tell you? Someone wants to be your pen-pal so they can 'court' you".
Let me finish that off for her... "and ask you to be his girlfriend!" :O~ exciting... NOT.

I immediately said, "WHO?! " Because I know all the aunts who (my parents' family friends; whose kids (boys) I grew up with and/or around the same age of) always approach either me (while I'm with a friend or two T_T so it's embarrassing) or my parents WHILE I'm with them to say, "Wow! ___ is would make such a good wife. She does this and that and knows how to do all this and can do all kinds of things etc etc blah blah. I want her to marry ____!" Now, multiply that by *let me count* at least seven mothers. Then you get all those same aunts in the same room (not all know each other but at least 4 know each other and are old time friends) and have then fight over you. So now, I have to act like their my new mothers and call them by "mom" or some mother-in-law term. So of course, I have to be charming in a different sense now. Ergh.

The oldest boy I was asked told to "marry" (no, not even date, marry) was around four years older than me- I think. But this guy, this guy that my mom's old friend from the Philippines wants me to talk to is at LEAST 10 years older than me. How do I know his age? My mom continues with, "My old friend, who still lives in the Philippines, and I were talking the other day and it suddenly came up. She asked if I remembered the cards that I sent two years ago with the family picture in it. She said that she saw you in the picture and showed her nephew and his mom. They thought you were so pretty! So she sent me a card this year and told me that when I get it, I have to call immediately! So I called and then that's when she asked if you guys can start e-mailing, texting, calling, and or writing to each other. You know, to get to know each other so you guys can start 'going out'." Okay, first of all, you can't even use the term 'going out' because he's half way around the world. Anyway, she went on, "I said no of course, because I said your father would have a heart attack if you had a boyfriend." To that he completely agreed with.

And here I am, still going "WHO? " because I'm so shocked that I even have to deal with this crap in a place I don't even live in anymore. But there's more! "She said that he's a graduate of medicine and that he's going to be a doctor! He's very smart and he's about 26 but I'm not sure if that was two years ago when they saw your picture or now because she wasn't clear. Though... she said he's never had a girlfriend..." To that, I immediately went "WHOA. Okay, no thanks." Not only was he way older than me, but this guy can't even get a girl! And I know some Filipinos are old fashion...but still.

What was the most annoying was my mom's reason for objecting. "Oh no, sorry, her father would have a blah blah blah. And she's only 17." I'm not 17.
I tell my sister and the only thing she can say is, "Teeheeee, another one? "

I wanna go back to sleep.

-SgMl

Just a quick one:... actually, MANSWERS TOO!

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 03:31:00 GMT

Hahahaha

You Speak General American English!

60% General American English

20% Yankee

15% Dixie

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

I guess they didn't have the ghetto English where everything ends with an "n'" or there's a curse word in every other sentence. Of course, I only talk like that to certain friends, depending on who I'm with. But still.

-SgMl

Edit: AND YES PEOPLE, I am a cool ass motha fuckin chick who likes to watch 'manly' shows like MANSWERS. Is there a problem??? Should I be as bimbo-like as the girls you like to pick up at bars and get STDs from?! It's educational too, ya know!

See, something educational for Girls and Boys: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_nh5FTOUAY&fmt=18

The reasons why you are a loser:

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 03:00:23 GMT

So my brother recently decides, and this time I think it's final, that he's moving back in. As his younger sister, I grew up and learned the hard way that no matter what, I have to love him and forgive him. BUT, that doesn't mean I have to forget all his screw up in the past because inevitably, they still affect me today.

For instance, he barely graduated high school and never finished college. In fact, while my parents were GIVING him money to go to college because he couldn't earn a scholarship, he decided to take it and spend it on other things. You know, personal things like clothes, tuning up his car (which btw he had two cars at the time both of which my parents were paying), personal expensive products, going out, etc etc. And not only would he take the money my parents would give him for school but he would ASK for more money and say it was for school when in fact, if he were really using any of that money for school, he wouldn't even need! So he was then not only using my parents, but stealing from them. And till this day, I don't think they even know. That's just the least of it and what sorta is the story that ties in to the rest of this entry.

What hurts the most is he's not sorry about it. And what's even WORSE than that is, his younger siblings (my Kuya Andy, me, and my little sister, Christine) get the shorter end of the stick. Even though Kuya Andy has quite a few BIG mess ups in his life (way different from Kuya Edwin's) he still managed to move out and stay out (although I miss him), raise his child with his now fiance, at least almost finish college (he needs to get accepted into a program to graduate)- he still managed to accomplish more things than Kuya Ed although he is younger and has suffered much more obstacles. I'm not saying Kuya Andy is innocent and isn't part of how my little sister and I have to live, because he most definitely is. But all I'm saying is, at least he's turned his life around and doesn't think he's still 17.

Kuya Ed is 25 years old and all he's accomplished in life is learning how to cook very well. Which is awesome, if you ask me. But he never went to school for it and has no plans for it when clearly, he's found something he's good at and can DO something with it. But he decides not to. So what happens to him? He gets fired (I think it was on purpose), can't pay off his debt (which is like 10k+), can't find a decent job (and fools my parents thinking that being a promoter of night clubs is a big job. Only thing is, they don't know it's night clubs as he's only telling them that he's in promotions now. I'm surprised they haven't figured it out with all the lattttee nights and smelling like cigarettes and liqour and waking up past noon. Which they don't tolerate for the three of us, but it's okay for him of course), and decides now that he HAS to move back home because he'll never be able to make it on the streets in the real world. Ah, the plot of this whole entry is revealed!

So, now, today is his second night with us. And you know, I'm trying to be the bigger person because I'm known out of the four of us to be the mature one. And as I started getting into my teens, I also became the mediator who settled things in the family when it came time for the siblings to talk about the current events. But it's just so hard, you know? I'm living with this person who has the audacity to lie to his parents after they take him in, willingly of course. Which just blows my mind that they would even let him back in here because he'll never learn from his mistakes if my parents keep babying him.

Apart from his personality, which annoys me and I will not list because I'd be going off on a tangent, his presence returning back into the house brings awful memories back. Why? Well because they're all happening again.
-He uses all my products for my face and hair (that includes wash and shampoos/conditioners)
-He uses the blowdryer and LEAVES it out
-He assumes that he's STILL a guest in the house and liek always, never cleans up after himself (which one would think since we're doing him a favour and letting him stay with us, he'd change that...but he didn't)
-He uses my FRAGRANCES! My god, it's like he wants to smell like a woman (I know I've called him gay before, which I still swear by. But come on, if he doesn't want to be called one then don't make it so obvious)
-He doesn't help around the house and although he's already moved in, Kuya Andy had to drive over here for an hour to do something my dad asked him to do which Kuya Ed could have very well done himself.
-Because he knows he's not going to clean the bathroom, he leaves it a mess
-He takes VERY long showers. And I don't mind that except that the water bill always seems to rise when he comes for his visits. Now that he's staying here, imagine the new price!
-He falls asleep when EVERYTHING (lights, laptop/computer, tv, stereo/surround sound system) still on for hours
-He sees something he likes and takes it (like my stud earrings)
-He does the laundry and likes to think he's doing us a favor for including ours... but then when we tell him to dryer certain things that need to be hung dry (like my tiny shirts) he doesn't do it. So they get tinier. Which annoys the FUCK out of me
-He uses all the internet speed on his stupid myspace shit that takes forever to load

And that's just to name a few of why my 25 year old brother is a loser. Also, it is the reason why I have lost the majority of respect I have for him. He's supposed to be the eldest, and usually the eldest is the one to look up to and you are supposed to respect the most. I respect him as a person and I won't be rude to him on purpose. But, I don't respect him as a brother and I most definitely do not even think of him as anything more than someone I have to live with. Harsh, I know. I'm a bitch and being a horrible sister, I know. But in my perspective, I believe I have every right to be this way and I'm not just overreacting. It makes me laugh though, to hear him on the phone all day bragging and still having his 'friends' think he's some cool guy.

I don't know if I touched up on everything that I wanted to say about (only) this particular situation my family and I are now in. To make matters worse is my little sister and him always have and still do fight with each other. Of course, I play the middle guy... Just one more job for me. Although nothing big has happened yet, you can bet with this extended stay that there's going to be tension.

-SgMl

P.S. I read The Catcher and the Rye during my vacation back home in the PI before 9th grade and was so BLEH about the book. Even though I read the whole thing, I never saw what so many people saw in the book and why it was so big in popular culter. And although I'm not a avid reader of books (I have my moments where I decide to read books. it's like a certain time in the year. It must be something in the season haha) I decided to read it. Now we have to read it for AP English class and... I'm actually enjoying it. Heh.

I owe you this

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 02:26:20 GMT

I hope you get this and you understand me.
Better yet, I hope you get this and just move on...
That way, we'll both forget. Right?

Chuc Mung Sinh Nhat. Happy Birthday. And I'm sorry I can't do more even though I probably owe it to you.
But..
We're being fake. (And) You know it.
But..
Whatever, cheers! Here's what I owe you your birthday present.

Utada Hikaru - Prisoner of Love

I'm a Prisoner Of Love
Prisoner of Love
Just a Prisoner of Love
A Prisoner of Love

I lied about it with a calm face
and laughed. It bothered me
so I tried to stop

Asking for what I don't have- (I get the) blues.
Everyone wants some peace
I have enough but keep fighting for it
still chasing after the shadows of love

Boring days began to shine
since you came.
But I felt okay, despite the loneliness and sadness
I'm just a prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love

Prisoner of Love
Prisoner of Love
I'm a prisoner of love

Even in bad times and in good times
In stormy days and clear days, let's walk together

I'm gonna tell you the truth
I secretly chose the painful way
I don't want this to end
So I'll keep calling you my "friend"

Lying - greed - mean nothing right now
since you love me
Being free - being content - means nothing now
if I'm lonely; empty

I'm just a prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love

Oh, just a little more
Don't you give up
Oh, I won't ever abandon you

If the cruel reality pulls us apart,
meeting again will be easier with stronger attractions
I want it even more and more
I'm just a prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love

Unpleasant days began to shine everyday
since you broke my heart.
But I felt okay, despite the loneliness and sadness
I'm just a Prisoner of Love
Just a Prisoner of Love

I'm a prisoner of love
Prisoner of Love
Prisoner of Love
I'm just a prisoner of love
I'm a prisoner of Love

Ohh~
Stay with me, woh~ stay with me
My baby- Say you love me
(Come on) stay with me (my baby)
Oh~ (stay with me) Stay with me
I'll never leave you

Stay with me
Oh~ Stay with me (please, stay)
My baby, say you love me
Stay with me, Oh~ stay with me
Stay- with me
I'll never leave you
(Tell me that you love me!)
Stay with me, stay with me
I'll never leave you

Translation credit: sLaVe / sLaVeGiRl01 @xanga.com/slavegirl01
To me it means that Hikaru is broken hearted after she breaks up with her lover but didn't want to show it; still had hoping for them to start over. She wants more from love and everything else but can't get it, becoming a prisoner of love and so confused. Then she just describes how their love was and how it came to be, blah blah. Even though they're over, she still wants to stay close as "friends". She'll never leave him, and hopefully they can start over again and stay with each other.

This goes out to you too, no.2. You know who you are :T unfortunately.

BABO OPPA! Stop drunk dialing to me at 3 am you no good!

-SgMl

I just realized

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 02:28:15 GMT

I've been with this friggin blog for God knows how long.
I barely even use it anymore...Even though I think I should. I never use myspace or facebook... I don't keep a journal... Then again, who needs it when you have friends and a cellphone?

Either way. I haven't touched up/added/changed anything on this blog for years now. Even the info to the left
<--- is all old... from like... oh shit, middle school (except for the picture)? Wow. That was like over three years ago. I think I also didn't take that side seriously; acting like a 12 year old (well I wasn't 12, but you get the idea).

Where am I going with this?
I should be studying for my Anatomy and Physiology test on tissues and cells. I should also be re-writing that stupid AP English essay I got a C+ on (mother puckin' Shepps!).
Haha I don't think anyone visits xanga as much as they used to (especially when I started off). That's just sad; especially when my new friends ask me "what's xanga?". I only go on xanga to message college friends or peopel who don't go to my school anymore ):

HO SHIT! I have two nights of precalc homework to do.

-SgMl

I've never done this before...

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 19:27:00 GMT

So today, I was again asked the age old question that everyone 'wants' to know.

"Who/What's your type?"

And because I'm not discriminatory against hot girls, why only say boys, right? Haha just kidding. You know (well the people who know me at least :P) that I can't live with a woman for the rest of my life! I'm a one night boom boom and zoom kinda gal™.
Anyyyyway...Although I have different preferences, my preference for a guy stays mostly about the same. But still, I for some reason can never answer this question. I always say something vague like "Oh I dunno, I'm picky; very complicated" and end up listing how I would like my perfect guy to look like. I know I haven't shared exactly what I like guys to look like either, but I've shared my thoughts on that at least.

Rest in peace, my former husband, Lee Eon

But times have changed people! I will now take the time to list who I would find perfect for me. And if for some God given reason I end up with the complete opposite man to love (because that's how this shit always turns out in the end!) then I will forever remember the time I wasted on writing this.

So, what kind of guy do I like?
I like a guy who_____
-Chases me even if I don't want to be chased
-Knows how to be serious but also have fun
-Is smart but doesn't show it off like a snob. But even if you're not smart, it's okay. As long as you're a cute dummy I can mess with ^_^
-Can have a serious conversation once in a while
-ISN'T STUPID/ANNOYING
-Is a gentelman
-Has something he's really good at, like a sport or plays an instrument
-Is funny and slightly perverted but not in a stupid way that would get me mad D:<
-Can control his temper (even if I really get to his nerves)
-Isn't a complete push over (even if it's me pushing him :D)
-Can take charge at the right time
-Only gets violent to protect someone
-If mad/upset at me, won't take it out on me but on something else haha
-A good guy who helps people out
-Is respectful and not cocky, especially to elders
-Is HEALTHY. No smoking or drinking unless you drink a bajillion cups of tea a day and can still be athletic
-Won't bother me all the time (unless we're already in love or whatever gosh, leave me alone sometimes)
-Treats me differently from all his friends and his past girls. If you're a player, don't waste your time hitting on me unless you're willing to change. Or... unless you're willing to lighten up your wallet for some fun :)
-Can speak more than one language mmm.
-Likes trying new things
-Isn't afraid to follow a girl's lead/will once in a while. It ain't all about you bub!
-Doesn't mind being on the phone and not saying anything without being bored. And even if we do that, doesn't make it awkward that we're doing that.
-Sends me random messages/letters/notes/whatever even if we see/talk to each other
-Doesn't wear his pants/jeans in the middle of his ass- that REALLY gets to me as much as guys wearing tight pants/jeans
-Doesn't wear super baggy shirts but not super muscle tops either.
-Doesn't mess around with other girls. Girl friends are okay, but if it looks/feels/seems suspicious, it's because it is suspicious.
-Is okay with being with a fickle, picky, ever changing, never the same girl
-Is okay with taking it slow and simple just like the movies (yes, I live in a heavenly dream world. Problem?)
Oh did I not introduce you to my new husband?

Somewhere in the middle of this I ran out because a friend called for like half an hour haha. So there it is I guess...
I'll list how I'd like him to look like if/when I feel like it.
Sigh, at least I have this documented now~ I won't ever have to repeat myself haha.

-SgMl

First Day

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:55:20 GMT

I now believe that I have the best fuckin first semester schedule, EVAR.

Anatomy honors with Krutchick
Marketing II honors with Routhouse
AP Eng with Sheppard
Pre-cal honors with Vrabel

How fuckin lucky am I that I got lunch with almost ALL my different groups of friends? Who's up for table hoppin?

Now, if you don't know about my family history and you're just stumbling upon this long needed rant... than disregard this side that I'm about to let out. :) To make sure you don't even get to read it, I'm gonna make the font so tiny and camouflage! :P

I don't know what to do about you anymore. I'm not one to hate a person, and if I ever do, I find something good about them that completely changes my mind and I always give them chances to change my mind. And yes, I'm even kind enough to give them a million chances because I hate the feeling of hating someone or something for too long. It's just too much damn work and I feel so disgusting. I do, I really DO.
But you... I just don't anymore how long I've been trying to make myself love you as one should. I've read all the novels with similar relationships. I hate you, but deep down I love you and what not. But for my whole life, you've just... I don't even know how to describe it, but I'm gonna say you fucked up. Because you did, you HONESTLY did. And you may believe that the rest of us are just a bunch of fuck ups, but let's face it, you shaped it all. If you're so mad about being with a fuck up, why did you choose to be with him? If you're so disappointed in having fuck ups, why didn't you work harder? Because honestly, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have done half the stupid shit you did. I guess you'll never realize that most of the shit you complain about has something to do with you as well.
And I just can't believe how rude and vile a person can be. Do you honestly think we're that bad? Honestly, have you analyzed yourself lately and just decided that you're the fucking shit and there's nothing wrong with you? Because if you have, you definitely have not shown any improvement on changing.

Another thing, I've noticed that you've given up on us. What's even worse is you're making everything turn into one of those "two wrongs don't make a right" shit. And don't think we don't notice, because we know you. We know when you're acting childish and immature... which is just completely absurd because you're the adult and you're supposedly the role model we're supposed to look up to so we don't become fuck ups like you.
What's even WORSE than us hating you is that you hate us too.

Is that even allowed?

-SgMl

It's so short...

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:59:18 GMT

Okay, two things. This blog is gonna be real short and...

MY HAIR! Fuck. So short. Again. T_T but now that my hair never wants to be straight, it looks even shorter than it was the last time it was short!!!

-SgMl

P.S. my eye, for some god awful reason, looks all funked up (>>here's a better one<<). And I took this picture in a rush right after the salon, so yeah.

Fangirling to the extreme.

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 04:55:40 GMT

Because of you... I've learned how to say sorry. I've learned to never forget and never take anything or anyone for granted.
I know this might be an overreaction to what's happening, but... You were the first. So, this goes out to you. You might not ever see this, you might not even understand it, but I gotta let it out.

I hope to one day see you and never have to feel the same.

This are the translations for the song I just added.
KARA just came back... different as ever. But because there are juts too many memories with my first kpop group EVER, I can't just leave them. Fighting!